Reconciliation of Information

I truly believe that one’s dispute and misunderstanding are caused by lack of reconciliation of information. Don’t you think so? Perhaps the word dispute may be too strong to be used in this example. Perhaps heated discussion is more suitable to be used.

This piece of information is often not reconciled. Maybe because some people just don’t care, or some even just not aware of the dispute and therefore need not seek the trouble to reconcile it. In some events, some people just don’t know the approach to reconcile it and I am the one I was talking about in the latter case.

I often feel very irritated because of the inability to perform the reconciliation properly. When I do it, very often the person whom I think we have dispute in does not respond well in the sense that some think I am thinking too much, while the others give me a feeling that “You are not that important to me so I don’t care much about it”.

Let’s take an example, one of best friends Shin Yee which recently I had dispute with. Before I start, don’t get me wrong that I am biased that she is the person who caused the dispute. I have invited her to my father’s company annual dinner and house warming. She said she might not be able to make it because she might be having her company annual dinner around the same time. So its fine that she is not going to attend. But as the date approaches, her company annual dinner moved to a day before my house party. So I take it as she might attend. On that night itself, she did not tell me if she is attending, so I texted her to see if she is coming. She said not attending without telling me any reason. I don’t mind if she actually tells me she had no mood to attend or just simply don’t feel like attending. I felt extremely agitated at that moment as I think that she as my best friend should at least tell me why not attending, regardless if it is a minute before the event or after. So I texted her again and simple ask why. Just a “why”, no elaboration. She did not respond in a given time limit set by myself. So I texted her again to express my dissatisfaction on her. She replied that she was not available at the time she received my text and therefore not replying. Therefore, a dispute just happened. Reconciliation of information has not been performed. After that we figured a way to avoid that in a peaceful manner.

In another example which the situation is harder to explain the nature of it: me and my brother. Our relationship has always been so so. I would never get what he is thinking at every moment. Therefore, I don’t know what I should do in order to please him. I want to improve our relationship so badly that I often try to find ways to understand human behavior, until I got to learn about Myers Briggs personality framework from a friend. And believe me it did help me to understand my brother a lot. According to MB, I often feel confused about my brother’s action and also I feel that there is like a wall that separates us subconsciously. I feel it totally. He is the thinker type while I am the feeler type. Many things he said will hurt me indirectly because I care too much about the fact that he is my brother. I still need to understand more about the framework in order to improve our relationship; right now at least I grasp the problem between us. The approach to reconcile the information (him and his thinking) has to be unique for this case.

Let’s take the instance to the other side. I have a friend who enjoys constantly bullying me mentally; whether it is when I see him or especially on face book. Initially I enjoy his company as a friend, but this annoyance been drag too far which exceeds the limit of my patience. There are so many things that he has done to me, but none were good. Well, to protect myself from him I take him as immature and/or jealous of me. And that surprisingly solve the problem knowing that our common friends are on my side. Seriously, you wont like the way he treats you of you are the victim.