Insomia - Random Thoughts

Cant sleep at this time. It is highly due to the fact that I am still hungry. I wanted to hang out with the basketball gang after the basketball intramural game earlier but I thought that they might not be interested in. We did a good job in the game by the way. We are the first runner up and we lost primarily due to height differences (after all, we, Asians are playing against Americans). But I did learn a lot in this game. =)

I had a couple of biscuits. Felt like cooking instant noodles but it is going to keep me full and therefore hard to sleep again.

I have purchased Nikon flash, SB-600. Cant wait for it to arrived at my place so that I can play around with it. It is going to be useful as I will be attending numerous parties because it is good for portraits!

Thinking about photography, I would like to thank the people who taught me the technical part of it. The name is Shu Yuan Goh, he is really good at photography and I have much to learn from him.

I miss home very much. I also miss Malaysian food, even more. Dilemma created as I need to look for a job here after graduation. OPT applied and fee of $340 paid. Even if I dont get a job, I want to make sure I use my time here well, to enjoy to the fullest without having to worry about education. (well, I might have to take CFA level 2 if I passed the level 1 in coming December; or retake level 1 if I am not successful in getting a "pass").

I miss Shin Yee and friends a lot. Felt like so many years that we have been apart. I really cant remember how long has it been the last time I went to cyber cafe to play DOTA with them. Man, I miss the moments.

Right now, in terms of my current classes at Drake, I am facing one of my toughest (but yet interesting) finance class at Drake. It teaches us how to evaluate equities, intrinsic value and stuff (I would like to skip the entire objectives, or else readers would find it boring) that I am interested in learning more. The class itself does not have any exams to be graded; 40% attendance, 60% assignment. Currently, I am working on the first assignment but I got stuck somewhere in the spreadsheet (fyi, more than 20 pages of spreadsheet) and I am not successful in locating the error. I felt so frustrated as I spent more than 5 hours doing it by comparing to my friends' spreadsheet. As a last resort, tomorrow I have to wake up earlier to discuss with professor about it.

Shin Yee and Chan Hung birthdays had just passed. It has been 3 years since my last celebration with them. Sad. Li Ching is now alone studying in Perth; and currently engaging into a relationship?

Thinking about a purchase, SB-600

I have been working part time consistently in the past year and I have not gotten myself anything yet (besides a DSLR, which is slightly lesser than my monthly income and thats like 8 months back). I feel like treating myself something, and right now I am looking into Nikon flash, SB-600, which is a very awesome flash given its price, since I like taking portraits, this flash would be beneficial for me and serve me well for years.

This is weird for me because the flash itself is not that expensive (a third of my monthly income) but I am not able to add it to cart like I used to. I feel more like saving. I hope this change in me is a positive one.

Also, I think in Drake University, I am the only malaysian student who bought DSLR with my own money. I am proud of it since I did not buy something that I want with parents' money. But often, I receive criticism that I had a lousy purchase. Nah, I don't mind since I am not into professional photography yet, a good entry one will do good for me. Plus, I am satisfied with the pictures I have taken (after taking so long in trying to make it right, but still imperfect), and I am still going to improve further after my studies.

Oct 15 2010

I am tired of studying for CFA, hopefully this feeling is just temporary, I am just one and the half months away from the actual exam date. Keep working... keep working...

Stuff that I learnt in my life including cant be straight at almost all situations. Facebook is no longer a personal thing to everyone. Every sentence you post will be evaluated and analyzed by someone else, and quickly, they will judge your personality based on the comment. Sigh... But soon, facebook will come out with a filter that could filter your friends (I am not sure what it is, the CEO of facebook just announcement it couple of days ago). I believe this feature will be utilized by most people and making facebook's home page less personal, more towards business. Sad thing.

Recently, there are some bad personalities in me that blinded from my consciousness. Some of it become so rigid and sometimes it does not make sense. I am trying to feel the change in myself and make necessary changes. A friend of mine actually talked me through it. I am just trying to be perfect but knowing that there is no perfect people.

And the US economy is not getting any better. Job market has been dying and never improved, particularly in the financial services area. Man, thats exactly the area I want to pursue in my career. Historically, US has such a strong financial market in the world, until the discovery of the use of derivatives. Chances of me staying here after graduation and securing a financial analyst position is so slim. Unless, I lie to myself that I actually like auditing and taxing positions, I could pursue that path since there are more job openings in that area.

On to the story of why I hate those people who actually judge others people relationship, it happens to my case. I happened to know someone judged my relationship with Mary Anne saying that I do not suit her (or she could find a better one), I was really mad. Ridiculously, I don't know the person very well, neither do him. Why would he want to do such a thing? To destroy my relationship? Other than that, I could not find any other reason why he want to say that to us, or either one of us. Hopefully these people could grow more mature and understand the damage they have done to us and vanish! If you like to judge, just judge among your little scums, and make sure your scums could keep their mouth shut so that it will not affect the people who are in a relationship.